Competition vs. Co-operation in Children's Development

Discuss both view and give your opinion.

September 16, 2024
Vanita
PTE Academic
Essay Sample Answer

Essay Question

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged to have a bright professional future. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

90-Points (9 Bands) Sample Answer for Essay

The debate on whether a sense of competition in children should be encouraged to have a bright professional future encompasses diverse viewpoints, revealing its advantages and drawbacks. This essay critically assesses these perspectives.

There are myriad arguments in favour of my stance. Recent research not only outlines the significance of studies as well as people, but also points out the importance of education and coping with vicissitudes. Besides, it provides a brief overview of expanding cultural understanding, followed by enhancing global perspectives. Examples of this can be seen all over the world, especially in affluent nations. Further, the implications of technological advancements on these views are significant, justifying widespread support for the idea that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged to have a bright professional future.

However, there are some arguments against the aforementioned view. Besides, its impact is far-reaching indeed as its influence extends to various facets of society, shaping not only individual experiences but also impacting the academic research landscape. Therefore, it is apparent why many are against the notion that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged to have a bright professional future.

In conclusion, while the viewpoint that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged to have a bright professional future presents a complex array of advantages and disadvantages, my analysis leads me to firmly support the notion that its benefits substantially outweigh the drawbacks.

*This model answer uses the AGBS template for scoring full marks in the PTE Academic exam. For the Essay Question-type, your score depends on factors like Content, Form, Grammar, Vocabulary Range, Spelling, General Linguistic Range, and Development, Structure and Coherence. In the following picture, you can see how this answer is getting full score in all these aspects!

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You can confidently use this Essay Answer in the PTE Academic exam with similar results. You can even try it for yourself right now, click the link below and check immediately. Remember to type it all out, rather than copy pasting, as it will help you in getting prepared.

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Template used in this Essay Sample Answer

You can even try memorising the whole template before typing it. Here is the template for AGBS essay-type. There are two types of PTE essays: AGBS and PS. Both templates have similar structure, with some differences in text to make the content more suitable to the essay-type.

Agree Disagree / Both Sides Template

The debate on whether TS* encompasses diverse viewpoints, revealing its advantages and drawbacks. This essay critically assesses these perspectives.

In conclusion, while the viewpoint that TS* presents a complex array of advantages and disadvantages, my analysis leads me to firmly support the notion that its benefits substantially outweigh the drawbacks.

*Now, with the above template, you only have to add one phrase (a TS), which almost looks like a sentence.

What is TS?

A Topic Sentence (also known as TS) is a concise statement that introduces the main argument in a templated essay. In this way, most of the essay content is fixed, and only the TS needs to be written. The TS ensures the essay stays focused on the topic while maintaining a positive or neutral tone.

Example TS for the current essay:

'a sense of competition in children should be encouraged to have a bright professional future'

What makes this TS suitable?

The TS "a sense of competition in children should be encouraged to have a bright professional future" is suitable for the essay topic because it clearly expresses a viewpoint that supports the idea of fostering competition among children. This aligns directly with one of the perspectives mentioned in the essay prompt. The TS uses important phrases such as "sense of competition," "children," and "bright professional future," which are key elements of the topic.

The sentence is grammatically correct and follows a clear structure, presenting a complete thought that emphasises the benefits of competition. There are no spelling errors, which is essential for maintaining clarity and professionalism in writing. The TS focuses on a specific viewpoint, which is that encouraging competition can lead to positive outcomes in children's futures. This sets a strong foundation for discussing the advantages of competition in the essay.

Additionally, the use of keywords like "competition," "children," and "bright professional future" directly relates to the essay topic. These terms will help ensure the essay remains relevant and focused on the discussion of competition versus cooperation. By presenting this viewpoint clearly, the TS establishes a basis for exploring the potential benefits of competition, making it easier to develop arguments in support of this perspective later in the essay. Overall, the TS effectively supports the essay topic by clearly stating a position that can be elaborated upon in the discussion.

Important Words for Relevancy + Content Scores

A TS needs to have words that are related to the essay-topic, and here is a list of such words and phrases that you can use to make your own TS. All of these words and phrases are directly related to the text of essay prompt, thus giving you several ideas for creating your own TS.

Sense of Competition: A sense of competition is the feeling that drives individuals to strive to do better than others. For example, children who feel a sense of competition in sports may train harder to win games.
Encouraged: Encouraged means being supported or motivated to do something. For instance, teachers who encourage students to compete may help them develop skills that are valuable in their future careers.
Bright Professional Future: A bright professional future refers to having many opportunities for success in one’s career. For example, children who learn to compete may be better prepared for job markets that value ambition and drive.
Cooperate: To cooperate means to work together towards a common goal. For instance, children who are taught to cooperate might excel in group projects, learning the value of teamwork.
Useful Adults: Useful adults are individuals who contribute positively to society and can work well with others. For example, adults who learned to cooperate as children may become effective leaders in their communities.
Competitive Environment: A competitive environment is a setting where individuals strive to outdo each other, often found in schools or workplaces. For example, a competitive environment in a university may push students to achieve high grades.
Good for Society: Good for society means something that benefits the community as a whole. For example, a competitive environment can encourage innovation and progress, which are good for society.
Encouraging People to Perform Better: Encouraging people to perform better means motivating individuals to improve their skills and efforts. For instance, teachers who motivate students to compete may help them reach their full potential.
Working Hard: Working hard means putting in a lot of effort to achieve goals. For example, students who work hard in a competitive setting may gain valuable skills and knowledge.
Putting More Effort: Putting more effort means increasing the amount of work or energy devoted to a task. For instance, students who put more effort into their studies may achieve higher grades.
Mental State: Mental state refers to a person's emotional and psychological condition. For example, a highly competitive environment may affect the mental state of students, leading to stress or anxiety.
Compete Too Much: Compete too much means engaging in excessive competition, which can be unhealthy. For example, children who compete too much may feel overwhelmed and lose the joy of learning.
Healthy Competition: Healthy competition is a positive form of competition that encourages improvement without negative stress. For instance, healthy competition in sports can build character and resilience.
High Schools and Universities: High schools and universities are educational institutions that prepare students for further education or careers. For example, high schools often foster competition to help students excel academically.
Bad: Bad refers to something that has negative effects or consequences. For example, a bad competitive environment may lead to stress and anxiety in students.
Better: Better means an improvement or a more favourable condition. For instance, a better approach to education may involve a balance of competition and cooperation.
Great Educational Institutions: Great educational institutions are schools or universities known for their high standards and positive outcomes. For example, great educational institutions often encourage both competition and collaboration among students.
Education: Education is the process of acquiring knowledge and skills through learning. For example, education plays a crucial role in shaping a child's future, whether through competition or cooperation.
Institutes: Institutes are organisations dedicated to education or a particular field of study. For example, institutes of higher learning often focus on both academic excellence and personal development.
Academic: Academic relates to education, schools, and learning. For instance, academic success is often measured by grades and achievements in school.
Students: Students are individuals who are learning in an educational setting. For example, students in a competitive environment may strive to excel in their studies and activities.
Encouraging to Perform: Encouraging to perform means motivating someone to achieve their best. For example, teachers who encourage students to perform well can help them build confidence and skills.

Try to make your own TS using these suggested words. Then fill the above-mentioned template, and submit to our AI for evaluation. Keep making changes only in the TS till you get the full scores. This is the fastest way for you to prepare for the writing section of PTE Academic test.

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